Conformist Pigs

There's a section of the mall I've never been to on my own. It's the section where American Eagle, Hollister, Abercrombie and Aeropostale stand, selling essentially the same clothes just with a different name slapped across the front. And if the brand name isn't screened to the front, the brand symbol is embroidered into a corner of the garment.

There's a name for these stores. 'Lifestyle' brands. What lifestyle? I live a vegan lifestyle. I live a Roman Catholic lifestyle. You, people in general live a lifestyle be it a liberal, conservative, laid back, active...you live a lifestyle like that. Wearing conformist clothes isn't a lifestyle. It's you paying them to advertise. It's what essentially these tweens, teens and college kids who stand behind Barack Obama at speeches are doing, they pay Abercrombie money to advertise their overpriced clothes.

Oh! But wait! According to these lifestyle brands they indeed do reflect a lifestyle! The California lifestyle to be exact! I'd like to believe there's more to California than dark Hollister and Abercrombie stores that feel like caves. That's how they get you to buy the stuff I suppose. You stand outside Hollister, and see how it looks like an island. "Oh!" You think. "An island! What joy!" Then you see the overly tanned mannequins adorning the front steps to the haunted island shack of Hollister. "What tans they have! Will I have such a 'healthy summer glow' as well by entering?" Seems unlikely with how dark it is. So once inside, comes the aroma. The smell of the beach. "Maybe the ocean is out back!" After stumbling your way through the dark, stubbing your toe on a conveniently placed wicker chair, night vision would be a great adaptation to have.

No, I'll never understand the logic behind these 'Lifestyle' brands. Maybe the fragrance they douse the store in every five minutes has some sort of addictive additives. In the meantime, I'll rest easy knowing I take my style cues from timeless French women and not 'California'.